It's been quite awhile--I do apologize. The apartment hunting really ate my life for a week and a half or so there, and I've been recovering since we signed a lease last Tuesday. That's right! Signed a lease!
K and I will be Brooklyn residents at the end of the month, and it feels a little bit like the end of an era. I'm a born-and-raised Manhattanite, so it'll be a bit of an adjustment.
My personal rent bill is going from $625 to $750, which is a big bump. The raise (about $90/month in real terms) will make much of the difference, but I'm also going to have to dial down my 401(k) contributions. While doing so is a bit disappointing, I've been contributing a pretty sizable amount up until now (about $115/paycheck), and reducing that to about $60/paycheck will allow me to pay my rent while still earning the full employer match in my 401(k) this year. I'm just going to get from here to December on that--my budget will need to be totally retooled then anyway, since I'll (hopefully) have met my Freedom Fund goal, and my travel fund will get much more urgent, and everything will be in flux some more.
We've paid the security deposit and the first month's rent, but have yet to figure out the situation with the broker fee--we're still hoping to negotiate the broker down from her draconian 12% figure, and it's all a little bit chaotic right now. Having pulled $1250 from savings is scary, even though I'm pretty confident that it'll be paid back when we get our security deposit back from our current place.
There's a limbo period in which many balls must be kept in the air. I'm just hoping not to drop any.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Goodness.
Monday, May 05, 2008
I Will Not Get What I Do Not Ask For
Wow--I totally got what I wanted. I got more than what I wanted. My request for an accelerated salary review at the beginning of June turned into a $2,000 raise, no questions asked, effective immediately. I win at negotiating!
See, okay, I'm a nonconfrontational person by nature. I'm also, despite current appearances to the contrary, really not that great at advocating for myself. But I'm definitely better than I used to be, and improving all the time, because over and over and over I learn that I will not get what I do not ask for. And you won't either.
I think a lot of people, especially young women, are scared to be seen trying. We think that if our merits are apparent, the people in charge of evaluating us will see and will reward us, and if they do not see and reward us, we are not displaying merit, and we will look like stupid, stupid fools if we start talking about our merits to people who clearly have already decided that we have none (or at the very least, not enough). So we sit still and we keep quiet and we cross our fingers. As a strategy for getting oneself where one wants to go, this sucks. I've just had that demonstrated for me very powerfully. So I'm going to keep trying. Visibly and otherwise. I succeeded this time, but I definitely have a ton of failure in my future--I think I'll come out ahead for it.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Job Decision
I'm staying put.
I talked to one of my bosses today: told her I'd had an offer and that I wanted to stay. Told her why: I'm excited about a couple of upcoming projects, I can be open about the fact that I'm considering going to grad school (if I stay here through then, I'll have been here nearly three years, which is an extraordinary tenure at this kind of job, and won't feel at all guilty telling my bosses in advance that I'm looking to move on and getting them to write me recommendations), and I appreciate the opportunity to work on my own. All of this is true. I also told her that they'd offered me $4,000 more, which is sort of true (the base salary was $2,000 higher than I make now, plus a bonus of about $2,000--but as I've mentioned, the benefits were worse than the ones I get now by a margin that wipes that difference out). I told her that I'm not making demands for a raise, but that I'd like a salary review in June, instead of waiting until the customary one in December. She said she thinks that's fair, but that it's ultimately my other boss's call, since he runs the department. He's in London, but she and I will meet to go over my projects on Friday so that she can be prepared to meet with him to advocate for me. If I get this raise in June, I come out ahead of where I'd be, financially, at either job, and I'm in the right place to boot.
So, that's done. Ultimately, I decided based on the way each of the two jobs fit into my life and my plans, not based on money or even the fact that I find my boss (not the one I talked to, the other one) abrasive. My current plan has me staying here about another twelve to thirteen months, then quitting for a glorious summer of travel and vacation before starting graduate school.
Next up: finding a damn apartment. I've already done some things right and some things wrong, and in my next post I'll tell you what they were.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Job Stuff Some More
I was supposed to hear back from the woman I've been negotiating with over at Prospective New Company today. I didn't. I think this means that the news that's coming is bad: that they're not going to be able to give me what I asked for.
That's okay.
I mean, not "okay" as in, "oh, okay, I'll take the job anyway." It's okay because my options are wide open. While considering this job offer, I realized that it's not an either/or situation: it's not a simple choice between a) stay in my current job for another year until I quit to go to graduate school and b) take that job. I can do any number of things. I could put off grad school some more if I found my dream job, or I could quit altogether and try to make it through to grad school doing freelance writing (hey, that's why they call it a Freedom Fund, my friends). In the meantime, I've contacted a well-placed friend of my parents' who's agreed to chat with me about working with books and ideas in a couple of weeks. I've got a lot going on in my life right now: planning parties and starting blogs and thinking about my future, in addition to some personal stuff I'm still having to put time and effort into, and then the big push for graduate school coming up if I don't find my dream job in the next couple of months...
The thing is to remember to treat it as a joy to have so many options. It is a joy, and a privilege, and I tend to choke up and flip out about having to make decisions about my life--I'm working on not doing that so much. Breathe, I am trying to remind myself. Breathe.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Job Decision Update
Thanks for all of the comments on the previous post--they were really helpful. I just wanted to drop a quick update on what's gone down since: I called Prospective New Company's HR department about the benefits package. It sucked. No 401(k) match, high health care premium...the two combined mean that I'd need $4,000 more at New Company than at Current company to break even, and they'd only offered me $2,000 more. No way I'm taking a pay cut to take a more responsible position.
So I wrote the woman I've been talking to about this job all along and told her that. More tactfully, obviously. I just said, look, I called the HR department, they told me the deal, the deal is unsatisfactory. I'm still psyched about the offer, but it has to be higher; please let me know if you can swing that. I gave her a number: $40,000.
So the ball's in her court, and I'm waiting to see how she responds. She sent me a quick note this morning acknowledging my email and promising a response soon (she's at a conference). I feel good about what I did: the email was tactful but firm, and I think I did pretty well at conveying my enthusiasm for the job without caving on the stuff I need (/want).
This means I'm putting off discussing any kind of job change with my current company (I was thinking about going ahead, but my dad pointed out that I won't be coming into the situation from a position of strength). And it means I'm appreciating my excellent benefits at my current company a little more than I did yesterday morning. Counting my blessings!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Decision Time
I've officially got an offer. The money is essentially a wash: the initial offer was $35,000; the director of development is going back to HR to get them to approve $36,000--there's a bonus, but the 401(k) match is probably worse, and...eh. Whatever. So the question is not money, because I'm not basing a job change on $4,000, because that would be dumb. The question is where do I want to work?
I do not know the answer.
I know that at some point, also, it might be worth doing to talk to my boss about this dilemma, and that scares me, and the thought of giving two weeks' notice scares me, and the whole thing of being a grownup, ack. I could give my current boss a chance to match the offer, I guess, but then there's still the where-do-I-want-to-work question, ultimately.
What value do I add to this organization? I am replaceable as an editorial assistant. Not by, like, the first college graduate in the door, but I am replaceable in that capacity. I am pretty confident, however, that I'm not nearly so easily replaceable in my editorial capacity. In my dream arrangement, I get to walk out of here with no hard feelings and an agreement that I can work on the upcoming exciting book project as a freelance editor. How likely is that? I do not know. I suppose I won't know until I ask.
Holy shit, do I find this situation overwhelming. "Platinum problems," as my mom says, but still.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Who, Me, Waffle?
One of the (few) things that makes me want to stay at my current job is a forthcoming book by a prominent Harvard English professor. Because my boss is super-busy, I'd basically be editing the book, much as I've been basically editing "his" other two titles. The book is perfect for me: the subject matter is right up my academic alley, and the professor (a Pulitzer winner and New Yorker contributor) would be an amazing contact for me to have, especially if I could impress him with my work on his book. It would also be helpful to know him if I wanted to, oh, say, get into Harvard's English department. Which I might want to do.
This makes me want to give my current company the chance to make a counter-offer once I've got the job offer on the table, but I don't think they'd be able to give me what I want (essentially, an exclusively editorial position with minimal administrative work...and more money). I'm not sure they can make that offer. Then I think about how little of my average workday the new book would take up. And it's little. Much as I've been enthused about the book I've been editing lately, it hasn't entirely alleviated the day-to-day hassles and irritations of my job, like the fact that I'm both bored stiff by and not all that great at its administrative elements.
And then I just do not know. I'd actually been kind of hoping this book wouldn't be on the schedule anytime soon, which would make my decision much easier...but the estimable professor was in today, and confirmed that he can get us manuscript by August, for a spring '09 pub date. Which means I could see it all the way to publication if I stayed.
(I was behind the door when God passed out the decisiveness, by the way.)
So Many Interviews!
I thought I had a firm offer coming to me, but instead, I've been asked to come down to the office on Thursday (during my lunch hour, I guess?) to meet the Editor-in-Chief of the entire publishing group. She doesn't work in the office I'd be working in...my sense (from previous conversations) is that the director of the New York office wants to make me a higher offer than her HR department will authorize without the okay of the big boss. Hopefully, if I impress her, I get an offer I'll want to snap up.
Seriously, making $40,000 (plus bonus!) instead of $34,000 would mean a lot to my life and my finances. That's the figure I'm crossing my fingers for, the figure I'd definitely switch for. It would make enough of a difference that I'm almost considering buying new shoes for the Thursday interview. Surely that's overkill, though.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Negotiating
I heard back from the company where I interviewed a few weeks ago: the director of development says that she's very impressed with me and would like to make me an offer (yay!) but is having a hard time getting their HR department to match my current salary (boo!). I actually gave a current salary $2,000 above what I actually make, though (I had some reason for doing this at the time: I think I was counting the 401(k) match, maybe, or maybe my freelance work), though, so it would be a teeny bump, and she also says that there's an annual bonus of "at least a couple of thousand dollars." She called to "feel me out" about salary.
I think I was pretty clear: I'm certainly not taking a pay cut to take the job. A little bit of a raise is pretty much necessary.
It's frustrating because it's definitely a step up in job responsibility, and to have the thought of an equally substantial step up in salary evaporate is..well, annoying. Nevertheless, it would be a little more money. I wonder if this would be a good opportunity to ask for some of those more ineffable perks: an extra week of vacation, for example--now there's a thought...
But oh, what a joy to hear "We thought you had some really good ideas!" as a reason they want to hire me.
Friday, March 28, 2008
You Must Change Your Life
Yesterday I bought two domain names. I bought forwarding for one of them to the other. I signed up for another monthly bill: web hosting at Laughing Squid, which has a great reputation and a "starving artists" discount.
I am embarking on something. I am so excited. I do not know, quite, how all of these things are going to get paid for, and the extra monthly bill is not in my budget. But. I have money in the bank, and there comes a time when you can't any more not do the thing that is pressing out of you from inside, somewhere inside the rib cage and the spinal column, jerking you upright on the subway.
You must change your life. And this is why I've saved hard for the last year and a half, so that when I want to do something like I want to do this thing that I've begun to do for real, I can do it.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Spring is for New Beginnings
I was at my aunt and uncle's for Easter yesterday, and was struck by how much pride in and respect for the older generation has for me and my cousins. In the smoky, crowded kitchen, the champagne flowing freely, my mother talking about parenting teenagers to an old family friend, I felt a safety net there: if there were ever a disaster, I could rely on these kind people, all these people who love me, to help me in whatever way they might be able.
It gives me a little leeway to take risks.
Today I sent off a project to the director of development at the company at which I'm being considered for a job. It's sort of an audition-project, in the stead of a second round of interviews. It's probably not the absolute pinnacle of my abilities--I'm coming down with something, and was a bit fuzzy-headed while finishing it--but I'm proud of my work, and since I've already been told that I'm a strong contender, I think there's a solid shot that I'll get an offer from this company. (And if I do, I think there's a solid shot that it'd be $10K more than I make now.)
And there's a project of mine, a personal-slash-professional one, that's pressing on me, growing more urgent. I'm almost ready to raid my savings account to get it going. Almost. You'll know when I do.
It's almost spring; I'm young and smart; good things are coming.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
"Coffee?"
So, this colleague of mine--an editor who works across the hall from me--keeps offering to buy me coffee. I don't want coffee. Nevertheless, today, I said, "Sure, I'll take coffee today." I accepted even though I didn't want coffee because he came over to my door and said, "[English Major]? I keep asking, and you keep saying no--" and I kind of felt like it had been a bad idea to say no a bunch of times, like I was blocking his attempts at building a rapport. Nevertheless, I'm not too much of an afternoon coffee drinker--and the coffee from the coffee shop downstairs, much as I love the guys who work there, is appreciably worse than my home brew. So...I'm probably not going to drink this cup of coffee he just brought me. Was it super-weird, then, to accept it?
Monday, March 03, 2008
I Got an Interview!
The woman who emailed me to inquire about my cover letter has now asked me to come in and interview on Wednesday--naturally, I'm going, and already thinking about what questions I'm going to ask and what I'm going to wear.
The thing is, I'm not totally sure I want the job. I want less workplace-related angst, and I want more money, but I don't really want to change jobs a year and a half before I quit to go to grad school, and I don't really want to trade in my current hard-earned interesting projects for a slew of boring stuff, which there is a chance this new job might be. I'm definitely going to ask a lot of questions with a realistic eye towards figuring out whether this job would actually be a good fit, and I'm considering asking my current employer to match any offer I might get from this other company. (It would be deeply inconvenient for them if I were to leave right now.)
Anyway, it's nice to know I'm marketable.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Got a Bite on My Resume!
I'd idly sent my resume out to a couple of publishing houses a couple of weeks ago; just submitting through websites, not really thinking too hard about it. Today, I got an email from someone at one of those houses asking me to submit a cover letter--apparently, I failed to properly attach one through their online application platform. Which is awesome, actually--it means they liked my resume enough to want to look at a cover letter! Though I'm prone to conducting personal business (like, uh, blogging) at work, I didn't think they'd appreciate an email on my current employer's time, so I'll be redoing my cover letter and sending it off when I get home tonight. It's a long way from an entry-level position, and it would be hard to pass up, if I could actually get an offer.
Perhaps related, perhaps not: I think I'm going to stop by Sephora this afternoon to spend some of the gift certificate my aunt gave me for Christmas, and I'm itching, for the first time in years and years, to dye my hair.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
After a Visit to HR
So, I'm officially switched to the Roth 401(k), though I'll miss Thursday's paycheck (drat!). I made this choice largely because of what commenters reminded me when I last posted about this option: that I probably won't have this option forever (because I probably won't be working here forever, and laws change, and whatnot) so it's smart to take advantage of it while I've got it, and while I'm young and in a low tax bracket (at a historically low tax level, too). Because the contribution percentage is set aside and then has the appropriate taxes deducted from it, I bumped up the contribution to 9%--I can't remember whether it was 7% or 8% before--so as to put myself on track to get the full $2,000 match. I can always tinker with that when I get a paycheck if it's too much or not enough.
I also got information on our corporate discount at NYSC--turns out, you can set up the membership fees to function as a payroll deduction. I'm not sure whether that means the membership is paid pretax or not, and I'm not sure how it works with the "extra" paychecks that fall outside the two-paychecks-a-month pattern, so I'll have to ask. I was hoping that there might be some room for negotiation--like, say, "Hey, if I pay cash for a year up-front, will you give me 20% off?" But the membership plan that my company offers is a good one--the enrollment fee is waived, and it's a substantially discounted price for a membership that allows me to use any NYSC location at any time. Not too shabby for $77/month. Essentially, then, this will work out much as I thought it would: the gym membership plus the switch to the Roth 401(k) will eat up my raise. That's fine with me. Both are worth my money.
Friday, December 21, 2007
False Hopes
Someone came around the office with envelopes today. For a lovely, fleeting second, I thought, bonus? But it was only the pay stub for the paycheck we'll get while on Christmas break (today is my last day of work until January 2, huzzah!). It's not such a bad deal to have money deposited whilst you're lazing about with friends for nearly two weeks.
Plus, they raised the 401(k) match $500 for next year, so that's not such a bad deal.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Doing the End-of-Year Shuffle
So, I got the promotion. Sort of. As I'd been predicting to friends for a few days, it's a sort of halfway solution. It comes with a title change, a 6.25% raise (6.25% of not a lot is not a lot), some new editorial responsibilities, and a little bit less administrative responsibility. The problem, when this was laid out for me, was quite evident: if I'm only offloading a tiny bit of work (the admin stuff I did for my big boss), and getting a bunch of new stuff, effective immediately, doesn't that mean I have more work, total? Yes. Yes, it does.
So I thought about it for a bit and wrote an email to both of my bosses suggesting a solution: transfer one of my (least-liked!) responsibilities from me to a co-worker. I talked to the co-worker in question about it; she seemed amenable. I put that in the email. I mentioned also that I'd consider it a perk of the title change.
And they agreed! So that is a real improvement. I hate doing that task (it involves keeping track of a lot of dates and coordinating communications with a lot of difficult people and filling out boring forms), and will appreciate not having to do it, both in terms of time and in terms of boring. And I did some negotiating! So I'm pretty proud of that, actually.
Next up: picking a gym to join with the money from my raise! (Don't worry, I'll also be bumping up my 401(k) contributions.)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Night Falls in Midtown
So. I'm leaving the company holiday party. I have had a glass of wine and a free dinner. I am wearing a new dress, and newish boots that are beginning to hurt my feet even though I bought arch supports to wear in them on Sunday. I am wearing an old winter coat, but it's made of nice wool, and I wear a costume-jewelry brooch on it, and it doesn't look too shabby. At the party, I have been gossiping with my coworkers; there was a speech by the president of the company heralding the younger generation; I have giggled with my boss and danced to "Hey Ya" (not simultaneously).
One of the guys from the mailroom is tall and broad-shouldered, with a square jaw and lucid eyes and skin like caramel. When he moves, all power and grace, it is hard to imagine that everything in the world is not easy for him.
My closest work-friend is knocking back Brooklyn Lager, grinning a grin he knows is charming, putting his hand on the knee of a woman twenty years older than he is.
Another work-friend is worrying about her assistant, who is being skeeved on rather vigorously by some sort of sales guy. He is very short, also quite skeevy. The assistant does not seem to mind, but the work-friend is worried anyway. Anything could happen, she says. I do not think anything could happen.
I talk with some girls about whether or not we are wasting our youth, about what we have learned and where we will go next.
When I leave, I do it without saying too many goodbyes. I get my not-too-shabby coat from the coat check, and put it on, and go out through the shining hotel lobby, and I like the feeling of the cold in my damp hairline and I want a cigarette badly. I like to smoke cigarettes in this particular mood, which is open and quiet and thoughtful, and I like to smoke cigarettes while walking in pretty shoes. I do not have any cigarettes. So walking down Vanderbilt Avenue, I stop in front of a guy smoking outside a cheesy tourist-trap restaurant. I ask him for a cigarette. I do not have a quarter, or I would give it to him. He gives me the cigarette, and offers me a light. My hand rests on his leather-gloved one while he lights my cigarette off his. He has an accent of some kind. I thank him, wish him a good night, and keep going.
I am standing in front of Grand Central, finishing my cigarette. There is a man whose backpack is sliding down his back, the straps slipping down his arms. He is panhandling. He is doing a bad job of it. He is muttering and looking dejected. He asks me, almost unintelligibly, if I have any change. I do not have any, or I would give it to him. He apologizes, wishes me a happy holiday. I smoke my cigarette. The Public Safety officer walks by in his yellow vest. The man is easy to brush off; he's hunched and muttering; people do not even look at him. The Public Safety officer doesn't either. The people keep going by, all of them going somewhere.
I ask the man what he needs. He needs a ticket to Poughkeepsie. I tell him I will buy him one. We go inside. He asks me to tell them I'm his friend, if they ask—he says they told him he was committing a crime by asking for money inside the station. He says he's only got about a dollar. I think of how long he must have been muttering at passers-by, and how long was spent in the cold. He tells me his girlfriend kicked him out, that he can't call his family because they'd hang up on him. We fight all the time, he says. He has terrible teeth. He punches the buttons on the machine. Cash? If I had cash, I would have given it to him. Debit. He turns around while I enter my PIN. The ticket drops with a little click, the sound of light contact. He thanks me; we shake hands. He asks if I have a boyfriend. I say that I do. He goes to get the train to Poughkeepsie; I go to get the six train home.
When I pop up again aboveground, the cold is a little more biting, and a cab slows down, expecting me to flag him and say Take me away from this squalor. Take me to Eighty-First and Fifth! The handle on the outer door of my building is still missing. I take off my shoes as soon as I get inside.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Mixed Messages at Work, Aaargh
I've been very much caught up in my Grand Office Drama of late--the latest is an email from my boss (not the one with whom I had the chat last Wednesday--the other one, with whom I work more closely) to the effect that she wants to take me out to lunch a week from today to thank me for my good work this year, and that my other boss (her boss, too) is busy but will meet with us briefly before we go out. That sounds like good news, I think (?), but that last conversation, as y'all know, made me want to pull my hair out.
You know how they (whoever They are) say that mixed messages are a form of emotional manipulation? That the idea is to keep you dangling?
I believe them.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Just a Thought
I've been saying for awhile now that if my job doesn't change in this year-end shakeup, I'll start looking for something else. I've followed up my talk with my boss, and frankly, wasn't particularly overwhelmed with warm-and-fuzzies about the results. It made me think that perhaps, even if I do get the promotion, this company may not be the place for me for much longer.
Now, I can do this one way: I can look for something else in publishing, where my skills are good and the turnover is high. I'd rather pull out all my fingernails than apply for another editorial assistant job, though, so if I can't find anything in editorial proper, I'd hit up idealist.org & start calling my parents' friends.
Or, I could do it another way, and apply for teaching fellowships. There's the renowned Teach For America, of course, but there's also the New York City Teaching Fellows--less of a resume boost, but you earn a subsidized master's degree in education. Which would be pretty helpful on the resume when I apply for my PhD. And though they're selective programs, especially TFA, I'm pretty confident that I'd be accepted into either. On the downside, though, both programs require a two-year commitment, and that's longer than I wanted to put off grad school.
On the upside, though, I wouldn't be so goddamn bored all day. My work would mean something. I've really enjoyed the tutoring & teaching I've done in my volunteer work. And, oh yeah, fellows in those programs make a teacher's starting salary: in NYC, that's close to $45K. That's way more than I make now.
Just how much am I willing to change my life?
